It's grey and raining outside and I don't have the energy to do anything. And this feels like such a waste, since I'm alone at home and can do pretty much what I like. I ought to meditate, but I don't even feel like doing that. Maybe some sewing on Maja's new dress and a Betty Grable film will make things better.

An excellent article about the new vampire books, women and feminism. I have longed to have the energy to write about this, though I also wanted to link it to the romantic era with it's backlash for women (compared to the Enlightenment), it's demonic lovers, obsession with purity and abstinence and the same female submission as you see in these new vampire books. Scary stuff.

Oh, and Edward Cullen is a seriously creepy guy.

My mum just called. She's on the way here from the airport and intends to stay the night. of course she can, but I would have liked to know a little more in advance. And I was looking forward to spending some quiet time with Rickard again after his twelve hours of work

I just didn't have the energy to come up with something more exciting. Now I'm grabbing my bottle of wine and I'm out of the door!

I'm going to a party at a friend's place tonight. I'm actually not ell enough, but some of the people I like most (including the hostess) will be there so I'm going anyway. I just can't decide what to wear. It has to be something I can sit comfortably in, so a wide skirt is probably better than a tight one. I also want to fit in with the general atmosphere of the party; there isn't a theme really, except a general idea about decadence, but I'm not so good at that - I'm better at "wholesome" or possibly "cute".
I also, for some inexplicable reason have a strong need to look pretty - it must be that I'm sick and want to look good even if I don't feel it.
So pretty, comfortable and hopefully decadent - this is not going to be easy.

I am so happy with my blue house dress that I decided to make another one. This time I didn't have enough fabric for a full circle skirt, so I ended up with more of a 40s feeling, but that's okay.

It's beautiful!

It's apparently not only Maja who got a reaction from the flu shot. I am so weak and has had to call Rickard so he can see if he can get home from work earlier to take care of us. I hope he can.

Maja got some kind of reaction from the flu shot - it has been a night with much kicking and talking in her sleep and now she has a slight temperature. I am exhausted from arthritis and lack of sleep, but luckily Rickard quits his job at two pm so I think I'll survive.

Maja and I have just got our flu shots. She needs a boost after three weeks, but I don't. Rickard will have to wait three-four weeks, since he's not under 40 or sick, but the twins will get theirs next week in school.

This has been a rather low day - on top of being really ill I had sort of an argument with a friend, which made me even more sad. But we cleared that and then my big girls came home since one of their classes was cancelled, so now everything is much better. I love them.

I have now sent an e-mail to the rheumatology clinic, explaining my current situation and that I need to be on sick leave for at least 3-4 weeks - either I will get an appointment or a doctor will call me.
I have told the editor and other writers for an anthology I was supposed to be in that I won't make it to the deadline - and why.
I have told a colleague that I won't be able to teach next week.

Left to do:
Arrange for Maja's and mine vaccination
Tell guy I'm sharing the radio work with that I won't be able to make it for a couple of weeks.
Tell Art College that I won't be able to teach the Monday after this.
Convince myself that I don't have to work when I'm sick

Not only did we loose the league gold to those damn rats, we lost the cup to them too! Now I just want to get really pissed and hit things!!!

ETA: Of course I'm not going to do either, I'm going to meet up with old friends and have tea.

A colleague, who I like, but who has very different political views than mine was discussing politics on facebook and hr friends joined in and it soon got really ugly, social darwinism and kicking those who already lie down etc. It made me really depressed (I am very tired after the conference and you know that my health is very bad now, which of course didn't help). But then I noticed that an old friend, from 18 years ago or so, who's an MP now was online and started chatting with him. We have hardly talked the last ten years, but now we did. I'm still down about people's lack of empathy, but at least I know that I am not alone and that we can fight together. And that not everyone looses their ideals and drive with middle age. Kalle Larsson (swedish link), I love you!

I'm at a textile conference in Stockholm and I'm booked up all the day and then I have some other stuff to write in the evenings, if I have the energy, which I don't seem to.
I'm staying with a friend and has just had a bath and as soon as my hair is dry we'll go out for a beer at the local, rather seedy bar.

Even tramadol won't help. The only way to keep my mind from going crazy from the pain is to think about sex - it distracts a little ;)

I know that it's not rational, but I feel very sad today, because IFK lost yesterday's game and also the gold. It was every PR-man's dream: the last game of the season between the biggest team from each of the biggest towns, the biggest rivals - and the one that won would also win the whole league. And we lost.
If it had been any other team I would not have been this sad, it really is a miracle that it went so well this season, with two good players sold and five(!) with bad injuries, two of those being some of the best players that we have. But loosing to AIK, it is a bit hard to bear.

Due to work we are celebrating Samhain one day early. I will soon be off to one of our covener's new house where we are going to celebrate. I know most of the ritual by heart, I have packed my robes and stuff and made food to bring - now only buying the ritual wine and actually getting on the train remains. I am full of anticipation.

This is a boar taken from the migration era Ålleberg collar found where I lived between age four and eleven.



(Where I lived between 11 and 20, and which I see as my home they found this, from the Iron Age).

Listening to the Jesus and Mary Chain and smooching with hubby :)